Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Reflections on the ride ...

My dreams range from fret-sweats to lists of to-do's. I suppose eventually I'll get into step with this new life I've made for myself, over and beyond packing and unpacking and repacking. I love parts of it, but it's a helluva commute. Next is Big Sur: a Seminar of the Monterey Trial Lawyers College with Gerry Spence and Tony. And possibly a presentation that I will do solo at a bookstore on the subject of personal growth regarding this book and dealing with the bigger-than-life self-serving godzilla egomania of Tony Serra. I have so much to say about that, they'll have to cut my tongue out to shut me up.

Tony's gone from prince to impossible once again, and once again I find myself at the edge of my cliff of "never again!" But then the voice of wisdom from 17 years of bald-faced determination whispers into my ear, "Let it go. All things change and change again." So with a tight jawed clench of  teeth, I trudge bravely forward, shedding resentments like a tree sheds leaves in autumn in order to further the greater good of this project of interdependent symbiosis. Big Sur with Gerry Spence and Tony will all be worth it.

The good news is, my hyper-irritation with Tony has fast-forwarded me to a place when this will all be behind us, and I will just be kicked back receiving royalties from my outpost in Santa Fe. It will all be a memory, a bright light of powerful energy sending off fiery flares visible from outer space. Astronauts and aliens will scratch their heads and exclaim, "What the hell is THAT?!?" and I will smile inwardly and think, "What a ride it's been!"

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